Sober Miracle in Progress

I have a friend in the program who always introduces himself with his name, followed by, "sober miracle in progress". I dig that. I think I'm a sober miracle in progress, too.

I'm a bad blogger tho. A month between posts? Come on.

Let's get this ball rolling with a little gratitude:

1. For Grey. I've been mad at him for two days. I know it's me, and that he's just the guy I love who happened to be in my way on one of my trips doing "self will run riot".
2. That a met a new person in the program through work. I knew I liked that guy, and now I know why. We alkies are always homing in on each other.
3. For my job in general. It's been about a year since I quit that last job, the one that took me into despair and a low level desire to drink. I am so thankful I jumped off the cliff and landed in this job. It was (and is) worth the poverty and stress.
4. For the meeting at the men's long-term treatment program that I attend. I hadn't been there in a few weeks. I have missed it and last night reminded me of why. I learn so much there.
5. For my friend, Bandana. I watched him make it through six months of that treatment program. Last night, his comment at the meeting simply blew me away with its maturity, understanding of the program, and commitment to the Steps. Watching people transform is truly a miracle. We're hitting a meeting together tonight.

I'll do better about posting here. I need to, for me.

Recovery Road is 4!!!

Go wish Kenny a happy fourth year of sobriety!

Ever Notice

Things I notice about myself
* When they say that I can leave work early because of the snow, suddenly I can't do any of my work. I just sit and stare at the weather radar until someone comes to get me.
* When I have to pee, I really can't hear.
* When I have a headache, other people get very annoying.
* If I like what I'm doing, I'll do it no matter what. If it's something I don't like, I procrastinate. Unless they tell me I can go home early ... see above.
* When snowstorm is bearing down on our city, I have a tremendous craving for hot chocolate.
* Only the foods my mom fed me when I was a kid and sick taste good when I'm an adult and sick.

Okay, no point to this post. But, I have to do SOMETHING while I wait for my ride to come and get me from work. hee hee

God Is

"When we became alcoholics, crushed by a self-imposed crisis we could
not postpone or evade, we had to fearlessly face the proposition that
either God is everything or else He is nothing. God either is or He
isn't."

~Alcoholics Anonymous, 4th Edition, We Agnostics, pg. 53~

I am so grateful that God IS today.

Grateful for:

• Grey, who continues to love me unconditionally.
• Patience, something which sustains me and allows me to pray for the things which haven't happened ... yet.
• Tissues with lotion in them. Oh, my poor nose if I'd not had them over the past month of a lingering cold.
• The "Meditating Peacocks" meeting I attended last night in the basement of a Buddhist temple. It's a very nice meeting, with silent meditation at the beginning and the end.
• That we can lose a battle, but still win the war.
  

What would your group do?

A friend in the program sent the query below to a group of her AA pals. I also sent the question out to my email list. What would your group do in this situation? All responses I have received via email are posted in the Comments below.

***

Hello Friends........doing a little unofficial survey here. Last night our homegroup had quite a colorful experience. We had a speaker that literally dropped the "F Bomb" at least --and this is no exaggeration---- 15 times as well as used EVERY cuss word known to man other than the big "C" word. He didn't use these words once or twice it was throughout the entire talk. Example: He was talking about the 4th step and said under column one I put "the fu*kers that I hate" and "column 2 I put what the a*sholes did to me"

My question: How would you have handled this if it was your group? Is this acceptable from behind the podium in your group? Should the chairperson that invited him have stopped the talk? Should someone have talked to him after the meeting?

***

UPDATE: This has been a very lively discussion around our Twelve Steps and Traditions. Thank you so much to everyone who has commented whether here or via email. Please note: All comments posted by me are ones I received from someone else via email (except the first one, which is actually me). I have left out names to protect anonymity and the only way I have edited is to remove identifying information, such as names or group names.

Open to Criticism

Sometimes, people flame my blog. They say bad things about AA or, worse yet, about ME (LOL). Recently, someone who appeared to be from my own AA community posted a nasty comment. I REACTED (Something I have been taught not to do) and took the comment down and responded. The next morning, I deleted my response. *sigh* My friends told me not to respond, and they were right. Oh, the lure of justifiable anger.

I received in my email this beautiful quote from Bill W. today:

***
Facing Criticism

Sometimes, we register surprise, shock, and anger when people find fault with A.A. We are apt to be disturbed to such an extent that we cannot benefit by constructive criticism.
This sort of resentment makes no friends and achieves no constructive purpose. Certainly, this is an area in which we can improve.

<<<>>>

It is evident that the harmony, security, and future effectiveness of A.A. will depend largely upon our maintenance of a thoroughly nonaggressive and pacific attitude in all our public relations. This is an exacting assignment, because in our drinking days we were prone to anger, hostility, rebellion, and aggression. And, even though we are now sober, the old patterns of behavior are to a degree still with us, always threatening to explode on any good excuse.
But we now know this, and therefore I feel confident that in the conduct of our public affairs we shall always find the grace to exert restraint.

1. GRAPEVINE, JULY 1965 - 2. TWELVE CONCEPTS, p. 69
Copyright(R)1967 Alcoholics Anonymous World Services, Inc.

***

Boy, Bill is right on, as usual. I don't have to react to criticism of AA or of me. What's important is what I know and what God knows about me. Other people's opinions are not my business, is what my first sponsor always told me. He was right. I need to stay out of it, live my life in alignment with God's will, and let the chips fall where they may. I find that the crackpots are easy to recognize by their own behavior; I don't need to point them out. Those that are wrong about me are also best left alone -- if I'm doing the right thing, I do it for the sake of just that, not so that others will not judge me negatively.

Language of the Heart

“From the beginning,
communication in AA has been no ordinary transmission
of helpful ideas and attitudes.
It has been unusual and sometimes unique.
Because of our kinship in suffering,
and because our common means of deliverance
are effective for ourselves only when
constantly carried to others,
our channels of contact have always been charged
with the language of the heart.”
Bill W., July 1960
c. 1988 AAGrapevine, The Language of the Heart, p. 243

I am so very grateful for the Language of the Heart, which manifests when other speak to my soul and they don’t even know it.

My gratitude list:

• For my boyfriend, Grey. He has really added such joy and laughter and sunshine to my life.
• For my newest sponsee, a 17-year-old. She’s really gotten me to pay attention to what I say and do again. She’s sharp!
• For the Friday meeting I’m chairing this month. I have great speakers, and it’s such a happy, spiritual meeting.
• That tomorrow I’m turning 40. Yeah, I’m grateful. I guess. (kicks ground)
• That I have now watched the film (?) Clerks and never have to watch it again.